Life is...

"Life is like being lost apparently... The more you struggle, the more you lose your perspective. It is scary 'cause everyone around you looks like an enemy. You'd think you are all alone in this world. But when you are really lost, you just have to wait for someone to find you. Someone who loves you will find you... you have to believe that. Everyone is trying... to live even it's not easy. We just have to be strong and go for it. " ~ quoted from Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge (jDrama)

Should I?

I once been hurted so much till i shut my heart.. i do wonder if that is actually better? cause after my heart get open up again by e warmth and concern of a friend, i felt that i became so much more vulnerable. I shouldnt get so affected by things people do or say isnt it so? everyone have their reasons. But yet i still felt so helpless or sad when I cant do anything or don't know about anything. And end up finding out from another friend about the well being of that friend. Am I being such a failure as a friend?

Such a big struggle within me that i cant solve, maybe i wasnt meant to have any close friends? I still get disappointed with myself and still feel ever so indebted when friends treat me well and I never did much for them.. I wanted so much to shut myself up again but I already accepted Him into my life, i shouldnt lead that sort of life isnt it? but i don't know how to make myself feel better and don't be that vulnerable. So what should i do?

Dear Lord, will you show me e way to change for e better and be a better person for myself, for my friends, for my family and most important for you? I'm totally not leading a Christian lifestyle although i had accepted you into my life for 2 months..